“Knowing your worth and not settling for anything less is the ultimate power of self-love,” are the words of Kshama Bindu, who married herself. She is India’s first sologamist who broke stereotypical concepts of marriage in society. The act of sologomy was an unheard concept in India, therefore when she married herself, Kshama became an internet sensation overnight.
To everyone’s surprise, she did not marry a man or woman but herself. Being a solo bride, she changed the definition of marriage. She always wanted to be a bride but not a wife or bahu. Taking a radical move in society, Kshama Bindu sets an example by showing the new idea of self-love.
The orthodox people of society blamed her for disrespecting the rituals and traditions, she received a flock of criticism for her act of sologamy. But Kshama was determined to make her own decisions. Displaying her unique way of self-love, Kshama tied the knot with herself according to traditional Hindu rituals. Becoming her own soulmate, she is an embodiment of self-love and conveys the message that no one can love you as you can do yourself.
No priest was ready to perform rituals and temples were also not available for her. Even after so many adverse circumstances, Kshama did not lose hope and completed all the marriage rituals in a private ceremony at her home in the presence of her close friends. She mentions, “My parents want me to be happy. What if I would have married a man as per the norms and wouldn’t be happy or may go through some patriarchal norms where it would be even hard to breathe? They accepted it.” Currently, she is working with an MNC and in her free time she travels and explores places.
Let’s know more about the idea of self-love from Kshama herself.
How do you define self-love?
Love is the most powerful emotion with complete euphoria, increased energy, racing heart and accelerated breathing, and it can help you grow if you learn to love in a healthy way. Self-love is no different from any form of love. This love is unconditional without any expectations or compromises. It is when you choose your happiness and yourself over things without any conditions. Others may ask you to compromise with the thing that makes you who you are. But this is not the case in self-love. In short, knowing your worth and not settling for anything less is self-love.
How can one learn to love themselves?
I firmly believe that self-love is a must. Everyone should love themselves no matter what. To love yourself you need to understand your values and your feelings. When you understand your worth, you also need to learn to say no to others when it doesn’t feel right to you. Usually, in order to keep other people happy, we forget our own happiness.
Let yourself feel what you are feeling. Don’t worry about judgments or what other people are thinking about you. You just be yourself, others will keep talking behind your back. You have the power to make your own right and wrong. If you think that it is right for me, do it, don’t think about society.
Learn to forgive yourself. After all, you are a human being too, right? So it’s okay to make mistakes, learn from them and move forward. There is no need to feel guilty about it.
The way you treat and love yourself, you teach other people around you how to love and treat you. Take the responsibility for your own happiness. We shouldn’t burden the people around us for making us happy. Real happiness comes from within you. And only you can choose the things that make you happy.
What message do you want to give to the people who are seeking to attain self-love?
When you have high regard for your well-being and happiness, you automatically start to love yourself. The feeling of contentment and fulfilment that we can give to ourselves can not be given by any other person. In a nutshell, why wait for anyone else when we can love ourselves?